


SmashanRonpa

by SlimyPennies



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: AU, Blood, Crossover, Death, Drama, Gen, Gore, Violence, killing game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-09-21 15:35:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9555245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlimyPennies/pseuds/SlimyPennies
Summary: Wii Fit Trainer and her fellow Smashers have been trapped in Tomodachi Life, and can't escape unless they kill someone and get away with it. Will they live in harmony, or will they succumb to the despair?





	1. 1-1: Smashing Start, Forging Bonds

My name is Wii Fit Trainer, though some call me WiFi for short.  
  
Yoga is my specialty, of course, but I also run, dance, and do basically everything that challenges my body. Some say that all my blood goes through my body and not my brain, but I don't let it get to me.  
  
 **Wii Fit Trainer - Super Smash Level Yoga Master**  
  
I gripped the acceptance letter firmly in my hand, staring at the massive building before me. Tomodachi Life, the stage I had fought in so many times before, towered over me.  
  
The next Smash Bros game was finally happening, and I got a return call. I'm coming back. Me! How wonderful is that?  
  
 _Dear Wii Fit Trainer,  
  
Super Smash Bros: Bullet Refute has been approved, and you're a definitely making a comeback! Come meet us in Tomodachi Life on Monday, we need to discuss contracts.  
  
\- Nikki_  
  
I couldn't help but smile as I stepped into the building, sunny skies making way for colourful decor. If I hadn't fought tooth and nail in this place before, I'd consider it peaceful. I pressed the button for the elevator.  
  
 _Ding!_  
  
The elevator doors opened, and I walked in. Calming music crackled through the elevator speakers, enveloping me in a soothing feeling.  
  
Without thinking, I stretched my leg out, taking deep breaths as I did so. There's no excuse for not doing yoga!  
  
With a sigh, I dropped from my pose and leaned on the railing. What's taking this elevator so long?  
  
 _Ding!_  
  
It stopped moving, but the doors wouldn't open.  
  
Huh?  
  
I pounded on the doors, but to no avail. I never had this problem before...  
  
My stomach lurched as the floor under me gave way, sending me plummeting down a deep, dark abyss. I screamed as I fell, until I hit the floor with a loud thud.  
  
A strong smog smothered me, and my body ached.  
  
It took all my energy to lift my head, but I instantly wished I didn't, as I was surrounded by bodies, bodies of my friends.  
  
I didn't have time to dwell on it, as I quickly lost consciousness.  
  
\---  
  
"Wifi? Hey, a-Wifi? Wifi! Wii Fit Trainer!"  
  
I slowly opened my eyes, groaning. My head throbbed, and my entire body ached. Standing above me was a familiar face, decked out in red and blue. Mario.  
  
 **Mario Mario - Super Smash Level Plumber**  
  
Mario was nice, if a bit clean. He was the trustworthy guy of the group, the one you could count on to bail you out of any situation.  
  
"Mario?" I croaked out, still groggy, "What happened?"  
  
He stuck out his hand, and helped me up. I instantly did some yoga as he talked.  
  
"Well, ah..." He said, "I don't really know... One moment, I was in an elevator, then it all-a fell out under me!"  
  
"Same thing." I replied, looking around.  
  
The room looked like Tomodachi Life, but different somehow. It was bright and colourful, with nice blues, but it wasn't familiar at all. It had lots of comfy furniture, but there were security cameras looming above me on the ceiling.   
  
"Where are we?"  
  
Mario shrugged.  
  
"Beats-a me! Tomodachi Life, probably, but-a... I don't remember here! Then again, I was here, taking care of you while the others explore..."  
  
My mind flashed back to the pile of bodies.  
  
"O-Others?" I stammered, flailing out of my pose, "Are they okay?!"  
  
Mario watched me flop awkwardly onto my feet as I shivered from head to toe. He nodded, giving me a quick reassuring thumbs up.  
  
"Oh, they're all okie-dokie! We're just-a looking for a way out, that's all! The windows are sealed, but I'm keeping hope in my heart!"  
  
He beamed, smiling widely. Good old Mario, always positive. No wonder he's been a household name for so long, he's simply lovable.  
  
Wait.  
  
I turned around to look at the windows. They were covered in a thick iron sheet, massive iron bolts pinning it to the wall. I quickly shook it. Sturdy.  
  
"What kind of sick joke is this?" I grumbled, "Nikki better have a good reason for this..."  
  
"I know..." Mario replied, "You'd think the spokesperson between us and Nintendo would be a wee bit more professional... Ah, that's-a life, though! No time to dawdle, the others were-a so worried! You've been out for about an hour longer than most of us! We need to let everybody know you're-a fine!"  
  
An hour? What's going on?!  
  
Mario gently took my hand and led me out of the room into a massive hallway. We instantly ran into Pac-Man, who looked very anxious.  
  
 **Pac-Man - Super Smash Level Ghost Muncher**  
  
Pac-Man and anxiety weren't exactly a common duo, he's always happy and chipper, very carefree to a fault. Maybe eating the dead on a daily basis desensitized him?  
  
"Oh, golly...!" Pac-Man said, wringing his gloved hands together, "Mario, bad news! We scoped the entire place, and there's nothing! Lucario said she couldn't find any weak points in any of the infastructure! Not only that, Samus and Little Mac couldn't make a dent in the walls or the barriers! We found this massive gate, but... A-Ah..."  
  
He shook his head, instantly going back to his usual smiley self.  
  
"Golly, it doesn't matter! Wii Fit's okay! You were out for so long, dear, I was worried! You have no idea how happy I am to see you up and about..."  
  
Pac-Man gently grabbed my hand and kissed it, smiling as he did so.  
  
"Thanks, Pac-Man." I said, smiling with him, "I'm so happy you're okay too!"  
  
"I've been through worse." He replied sincerely, "I'm basically a dinosaur compared to you, dear! My eldest daughter is around your age, you know!"  
  
He chuckled, then scratched at his head. Suddenly, his face went serious.  
  
"Oh, right! Lucina asked us to all gather at the gate when you woke up! I'll go tell the others! It's the last door to the right, not the left. The left is locked... Ah, see you then!"  
  
He dashed off, determination burning in his eyes. Mario bit his lip, then perked up, trying to look happy.  
  
"Well, I'm-a sure there's a reasonable explanation for this!" Mario cheered, "Let's-a go, Wifi!"  
  
Mario happily marched along, and I followed behind him, still on edge. Why are we here? This isn't exactly my idea of fun...  
  
We entered the specified room, and gaped at the massive metal door that covered the opposite wall. It looked like something you would see on a submarine!  
  
Loud thunking rung out through the room as Samus and Little Mac attacked it, throwing all their energy into it. Samus turned around to look at us, frowning.  
  
 **Samus Aran - Super Smash Level Bounty Hunter**  
  
Where do I start with her? Well, Samus is cold to most, and doesn't bother much with small talk. She prefers to keep her distance if possible. Despite having an aura of "don't talk to me", she can be chill. We're good friends.  
  
"Tch, it's about as solid as it can get." She sighed, crossing her arms, "Mac, stop that, will you?"  
  
Little Mac ignored her and kept pounding away.  
  
"Sam, we can't give up! This door can only take so much!"  
  
 **Little Mac - Super Smash Level Boxer**  
  
Ha, now here's a familiar face. Me and Mac, we train together a lot. He's cool, a real go-getter. He never gives up, even when it's the smart thing to do. He believes that there's nothing you can't do if you throw enough passion into it. Despite what it might seem, he's actually quite clever.  
  
"A: Don't call me that. B: Let's face it, the door's a little too sturdy." Samus scoffed, "We should find a better option... If I had my suit, it'd be a breeze..."  
  
"Sammy, you came here without your suit?" I said.  
  
"I might have my blonde moments, but I definitely came here with it on... Made getting on the elevator hard, it has massive shoulders... Well, I guess, I have massive shoulders, and the suit just makes them bigger."  
  
She flexed, showing off how broad her body was. Samus could probably break you in half without a second thought.  
  
Little Mac stopped hitting the door, even just for a second, to watch, then kept hitting away.  
  
"Poyo~!" A voice called out as the door to the room opened.  
  
 **Kirby - Super Smash Level Star Child**  
  
It was Kirby, dragging King Dedede behind them. Kirby is an untold amount of years old, probably one of the oldest amongst us all, but they still have the mentality of a bright-eyed child. They care about everybody, but their top priority is their stomach.  
  
"Mr. Pac-Man told us to come by!" Kirby chirped, "Ms. Wifi's awake! Ms. Wifi's awake! We were all so worried!"  
  
"Well, I sure wasn't." Dedede groaned, crossing his flippers together.  
  
 **King Dedede - Super Smash Level Monarch**  
  
Dedede was strange, to say the least. He seems very cold and angry, and kind of is, but he's mostly like a big child who never really ever felt happy. Surprisingly, his favourite person is Kirby, but he'll never admit it.  
  
"You see!" Kirby giggled, "Even Deester was worried!"  
  
"Don't call me that." Dedede said, trying to hold back the slightest semblance of a smile, "It's King Dedede, kid. I'll clobber you once we get out, I swear-"  
  
He squeaked like a dog toy as Kirby wrapped him in a hug, snuggling their face into Dedede's chest.  
  
"...How's the door going?" Dedede said suddenly, trying to ignore the pink annoyance, "I gotta get to my kingly duties... My daily sponge bath is overdue."  
  
Samus looked back at Mac, still pounding, then shrugged.  
  
"Can't you see for yourself?"  
  
"Uh... not good?"  
  
"Not good at all."  
  
Nana and Popo walked in, followed by Ness and Villager. Nana and Popo held hands as they walked, swinging their arms happily.  
  
"Hey, guys!" Popo said, waving, "It's great to see ya!"  
  
Nana watched her brother wave, then followed suit.  
  
"Hey, guys!" She echoed, "It's been so long, huh?"  
  
 **Nana and Popo - Super Smash Level Ice Climbers**  
  
Despite being a pair of children, Nana and Popo have scaled insurmountable heights and climbed beyond what I could even imagine. They're brother and sister, Popo being the older one. They're sweet kids, if a bit weird at times. I remember being their age, puberty slowly started to set in, and it was a mess. They never part, and Nana always follows her big bro's footsteps.  
  
"I'm bored!" Popo announced, "Wifi, ya got a water bottle?"  
  
"Wifi, Wifi, give us a water bottle!" Nana beamed, "Popo can flip it perfectly each time! You got one, right?"  
  
"Uh, no..." I replied, "I don't have a bag or anything to hold it in..."  
  
"Aw..." The duo sighed together.  
  
"You can borrow my yo-yo." Ness said, "We can take turns and stuff."  
  
Ness handed Popo his yo-yo, then smiled gently.  
  
 **Ness - Super Smash Level PSI**  
  
Why are the kids here all so much better than me? Ness is a sweet kid, brave and protective and kind, and he has immense psychic power. He could kick mostly anyone's ass if he wanted, but he prefers to talk things out.  
  
Villager stood back as the kids played with the yo-yo, turning her face up in annoyance.  
  
"It's the 21st fucking century." Villager seethed, running her hand through her pink hair, "Who still plays with yo-yos?"  
  
 **Villager - Super Smash Level Mayor**  
  
Some people would look at Villager and think she's a little kid. She's not, she's in fact the mayor of a small village, one filled with animals. I don't know whether it's her nature or the stress of the job, but this woman is sharp-tongued and will hurt you without thinking.  
  
"Well, me." Ness replied, watching Popo mess around with his yo-yo, failing to do a trick, "Wait, wait, let me help..."  
  
As Ness helped Popo with the toy, Kirby waddled over to watch, gaping wide-eyed as Popo pulled off an impressive trick. Nana clapped happily, smiling.  
  
"That was really neat, big bro!" She giggled.  
  
"It would be better if you flicked your wrist more." Ness said gently, "Can you try that?"  
  
"Ha, yeah!" Popo snickered as he flicked his wrist, accidentally letting the yo-yo fly from his finger and bean Dedede right in the head with a loud crack.  
  
"Aw, fu...!" Dedede trailed off as he looked at the children staring at him, "Fudge! F-Fudge."  
  
Dedede glared at the yo-yo on the floor, then sighed as he picked it up, rubbing it in his flipper.  
  
"Be more careful with that." Dedede warned, "You could crack someone's skull open with that."  
  
"Not a-likely!" Mario added, "But safety is always an important part of-a life!"  
  
As Dedede returned the yo-yo, the door opened, and Luigi shakily walked in, followed by Link and Jigglypuff. Luigi's eyes widened, tears running down his face as he saw Mario.  
  
"B-Big bro!" He wailed as he ran up to his brother, bringing him into a tight hug, "Mario, there's n-no escape and w-we're gonna be stuck h-here forever and ever and ever and..."  
  
As Luigi cried, Mario patted his younger twin on the back.  
  
"Luigi, my paisano, it's-a gonna be okay." Mario said sincerely, "We will-a find a way out, and you can be the first-a person to step outside of that door, huh? Does that make you feel-a better?"  
  
Luigi sniffled, trying and failing to bring the snot running down his face back up into his nose.  
  
"Thank you, bro..."  
  
 **Luigi Mario - Super Smash Level Plumber's Younger Brother**  
  
If you didn't know much about Luigi, you would say he's just an inferior copy of his older twin. That, quite obviously, is not true. Luigi is cowardly, extremely so. In fact, Mario once told me that the reason Luigi is the younger twin is because he was too afraid to be born. That's not true, obviously, but the fact remains that he stayed for an entire day after Mario.  
  
"I just have a big head..." Luigi told me one time, "Ah, the doctors had to cut me out, I was so much bigger than my brother..."  
  
Despite his cowardice, Luigi remains a good guy at heart, willing to begrudgingly throw his fears aside to help.  
  
Samus and Little Mac both looked at eachother as Luigi's sobs became louder, each of them looking extremely awkward. Mac bit his lip, cocking his head in confusion.  
  
"Yo, Weegee." Little Mac said, "It's cool, we'll break this door down before you can even say one-two punch."  
  
"One-two p-p-punch...?" Luigi replied shakily.  
  
Little Mac punched the heavy metal door with all his might, frowning when the door didn't budge.  
  
"Dammit!" He yelled, "It would've been so cool if it broke down right now! God..."  
  
"Apparently, you're all brawn and no brains..." Villager sighed, "Whoever brought us here, they're obviously not gonna keep us in with a breakable door..."  
  
"What do you mean, 'whoever brought us here'?" I said, "It's just Nikki pulling a prank, right?"  
  
"What kind of overcomplicated prank would this even be?!" Villager retorted, "The elevator, the gas, the new rooms, the extreme restraints, even all our weapons being taken away, this is too complex for it to be just a prank!"  
  
Samus looked down at her hands.  
  
"She's right." She said, "Taking me out of my suit isn't exactly easy..."  
  
"I don't have my hammer..." Dedede said slowly, "Y'know, that hammer only I can wield?"  
  
"I can wield it!" Kirby chirped.  
  
"...Okay, but you're weird."  
  
"Puff!" Jigglypuff said, instantly grimacing at the sound of her own voice.  
  
She adjusted the flower behind her ear, the cute translation device she always had with her, and with a quick 'plink' sound, she was back in action.  
  
"Link doesn't have his sword." She repeated, sighing in relief after her translator worked, "Aw, jeez, that fall messed up my translator..."  
  
All eyes turned to Link, who nodded in agreement. He, in fact, did not have his sword.  
  
"I'll kill the fucker who did this!" Jigglypuff suddenly yelled, face going red, "Kill 'em!"  
  
 **Jigglypuff - Super Smash Level Singer**  
  
Despite her cutesy appearance, Jigglypuff's prone to extreme mood swings. As she just demonstrated, she can go from 0 to 100 in seconds. She's a good singer, though, and can calm anyone down with her sleepy songs, even herself.  
  
Also, since he won't give me a good time to introduce himself...  
  
 **Link - Super Smash Level Hero of Time**  
  
The weirdo in the green tunic is Link, one of them, at least. There's apparently lots of Links across different times and dimensions and worlds, and he's just one. We've met, like, three, but he's our Link. He doesn't talk, but he's pretty good with a sword.  
  
"Not to be rude, but where's Lucina?" Popo said, accidentally hitting himself with the yo-yo in the process, "Ow!"  
  
Right on cue, Lucina walked in, Lucario and Pac-Man at her side.  
  
"We're right here." Lucario said with her telepathic abilities, "Don't worry, I sense that everybody's here and good to go."  
  
 **Lucario - Super Smash Level Aura**  
  
Lucario is stoic. She can sense everybody's aura and work accordingly. She's just way too strong... Even I look up to her!  
  
"Thanks, Lucario." Lucina said, raising her voice, "As we can all see, we are trapped here. No ifs, ands, or buts about it."  
  
Murmurs of agreement went through the crowd.  
  
"How are we gonna get out?" Dedede asked, "My subjects are waiting!"  
  
"We won't."  
  
I searched her face for the slightest hint of a smile, a facial twitch, anything to indicate she was lying, but instead she kept that stoic face.  
  
"W-W-What?!" Luigi hollered, "No, no, we have to get out, we have to-"  
  
"Okay, that was phrased wrong." Lucina said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully, "We'll wait for someone to save us. We all have friends on the outside, people will notice we're gone, and I bet at least one of us left our letters at home, right? The police will have to check the houses of the missing..."  
  
 **Lucina - Super Smash Level Swordsman**  
  
I trust Lucina's judgement with all my heart. She's smart, and she knows exactly how to lead. Lucina, she has the qualities of a true leader, and I would put my life in her hands.  
  
"I told Red I was coming here, and I even left the letter." Jigglypuff said, "He'll find us! He's the best..."  
  
 **DING! DONG!**  
  
An unfamiliar voice suddenly echoed through the room.  
  
"Upupupu~!" It said, "Welcome to TomoDespair Life, the apartment of your dreams! I'm your new landlord, and I'm holding a meeting for all of the tenants, you guys! Come downstairs, the door is unlocked now, and, eh... If you don't come... Expect punishment! Good luck~!"  
  
"T-That's not Nikki!" Luigi wailed, "What happened to her?!"  
  
"Does anyone know who that is?" Ness whimpered, "A-Anybody?!"  
  
"We're not gonna actually follow those instructions, right?" Dedede said, "Right?!"  
  
"We can't!" Little Mac exclaimed, "They'll slaughter us!"  
  
"Calm down." Lucina boomed, raising her arms up, "We need to go, a meeting implies information, and I don't particularly enjoy punishment..."  
  
Lucina looked up at the security camera, and frowned.  
  
"Whoever it is, they're watching us. We need to make haste."  
  
"I'll protect us." Samus said, stepping forward, cracking her knuckles, "We have all dealt with worse, and we can persevere."  
  
"Speak for yourself..." Villager mumbled, "Me and Wifi don't do that whole 'adventure' thing..."  
  
"It doesn't matter." I said nervously, "We need to go..."  
  
Pac-Man nodded in agreement.  
  
"Golly, I hope this is just some prank..."  
  
Lucina took the first step, leading everybody down the hallway to the other side, she took a deep breath as she opened the door, a flight of stairs sprawled out before us.  
  
"He said down." Lucina said, "We go down."  
  
We all cautiously walked down, the atmosphere tense as we walked into the purple hallway.  
  
"What the...?" I said, looking at the doors, "They all... They all have our names!"  
  
I stared at the door closest to me, Kirby's name and picture put on a metal plate that hung on the door. I tried to open it. Locked.  
  
My teeth involuntarily clenched. What's going on?!  
  
"We need to move on..." Lucina said, her voice shaking slightly, "There's more..."  
  
She pointed to three more doors at the other end of the hallway. One had a metal plate engraved with the image of a knife and fork imbedded on it, the other had a washing machine, and one had coffee.  
  
 **DING! DONG!**  
  
"Hey, you guys!" The voice said again, "I'm in the meeting room! There's a cup of coffee on the sign, ya can't miss it!"  
  
I shook nervously, eyeing the door. Everybody stood frozen, even Lucina was visibly spooked.  
  
With a deep breath, I opened the door, a simple room sprawled before us. It had a long meeting table, chairs surrounding it, charts on the walls.  
  
"What...?" Popo said as we all walked in, "What is all this...?"  
  
"Where is that bastard?!" Jigglypuff grumbled, "I'll-"  
  
With a burst of confetti, our captor popped in out of nowhere.  
  
"Upupupu! You'll what?"  
  
I have never seen anything like it before. A short and stout teddy bear stood before us, black on one side, white on the other, normal on one side, a devilish grin on the other.  
  
"Augh!" Luigi screamed, "Who the hell are you?! What are you?!"  
  
"I'm Monokuma, your new landlord!"  
  
Monokuma did jazz hands, smiling. Nobody was pleased.  
  
"Where's Nikki?" Pac-Man asked, "Why did you bring us here?"  
  
Monokuma cocked his head.  
  
"Nikki, Nikki..." He pondered, "Nikki! Yeah! I know where she is!"  
  
He unsheathed his claws, then cut his stomach open, stuffing spilling out. He dug around, and he took out Nikki's head.  
  
Wait.  
  
My stomach churned as a cacophony of terrified screams, mine probably among them, pounded against my ears. Nikki's face was still stuck in one final expression of terror.  
  
"Swapnote, Swapdoodle, it was never my style." Monokuma sighed as he moved Nikki's head around, putting his voice in a falsetto, "Bleh! We're cancelled! Bleh! Pay for shit you should have to begin with! Upupupu!"  
  
"This is enough, maniac." Lucario snarled, showing off her fangs, "I'll kick your ass!"  
  
She savagely ran across the table on all fours, tackling Monokuma onto the floor. As she did so, Monokuma cried out, flailing.  
  
"Oh no, oh no, no violence against the landlord!" He screamed, "I think I'm gonna-"  
  
Lucario barked in surprise as Monokuma burst into flames. She chucked him across the room, yelping as the fire licked her. Monokuma screamed as his body turned to ash in the corner.  
  
Suddenly, another Monokuma popped up, grinning.  
  
"Ta-da!" He cheered, "No worries, I'm back! Did ya miss me?"  
  
Lucario looked between Monokuma and the ashes, confused.  
  
"I-I-I... What?!"  
  
"I'll let you off this time." Monokuma said quietly, "There are rules here, and failure to follow the rules... Upupupu! That results in a punishment!"  
  
"Whaddya mean 'here'?!" Little Mac shouted, "What's going on?!"  
  
"I told ya, TomoDespair Life!"  
  
"I don't mean that, I-"  
  
"Oh!" Monokuma gasped, "Oh, I get it! You're wondering what's going on!"  
  
"No shit!"  
  
"I got it, I got it... Anyways, tenants, welcome to your new forever home! Welcome to the TomoDespair Game of Mutual Killing!"  
  
The atmosphere hung thick. Forever home? Mutual killing...?  
  
My face burned hot as my stomach did flips. This has to be a joke, right? But...  
  
I looked over to the ashes, Nikki's head slightly charred from the fiasco. No, this can't be a joke.  
  
"Yeesh, I expected something better..." Monokuma said, twisting his face in confusion, "What, I would expect something... Like, I dunno, a 'Hey, Monokuma, this is nuts!' or a 'Monokuma, what the hell are you talking about?'. You guys are boring..."  
  
Silence continued to hang over the room until a scream echoed.  
  
"No, no, no!!" Luigi wailed, "Killing?! Killing?! I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't..."  
  
He trailed off, his voice becoming shaky as sobs racked his entire body. Mario glared at Monokuma as he brought his brother into a hug.  
  
"What's-a this about-a mutual killing?" Mario seethed, "We will not be-a killing eachother!"  
  
Monokuma shrugged, smirking.  
  
"That's a typical reaction." He said, "But, you're stuck here, right? Wouldn't you like to go free? Wouldn't you like to escape? That's where the game comes in! You kill a guy, do a trial, get away with it without anyone knowing it was you, and presto! You're out the door! Perfect crimes equal perfect escapes! If your fellow tenants figure out you did it, though..."  
  
Monokuma drove his claw across his neck.  
  
"Punishment! Bashed, beaten, bloodied, brutalized, _boom!_ Upupupu! In the end, who will succumb to the temptation of the outside world? Here's a tip for you guys, a sincere one: forget about out there! If you guys just forget, then you can avoid the despair! Upupupu!"  
  
He grinned wildly, suddenly producing a bunch of cards.  
  
"Hey, I forgot something!" He said, "ElectroIDs! Hey, hey! They hold the key to your success, literally! They unlock the doors to your room, have your info, and have the rules along with a map! Just look! Wii Fit Trainer, read us the rules!"  
  
Without warning, Monokuma tossed me my ID, the electronic card showing off my name as I turned it on. I clicked on the 'Rules' option, frowning in distaste as I noticed each rule being marked by a Monokuma head.  
  
"Well, uh..." I said shakily, reading, "Tenants must stay inside the apartment at all times. Leaving is strictly prohibited."  
  
"Yeah, yeah!" Monokuma added, "Can't ruin the game!"  
  
"Night is from 10 pm to 7 am. Some areas are off-limits at night, so be careful."  
  
"Don't worry, I'll help you out if you accidentally stay in there too long!"  
  
"Sleeping anywhere other than the dormitory will be seen as loitering and punished accordingly."  
  
"Huh, why do I even have that rule? Might nix it..."  
  
"TomoDespair Life is free for you to explore with minimal restrictions."  
  
"Upupupu! There are restricted areas, though! Don't worry, I'll unlock them later!"  
  
"Violence against Landlord Monokuma or any of his MonoCameras is a high-class violation and will result in instant punishment."  
  
"Lucario, you're lucky..."  
  
Lucario's eyes narrowed in anger.  
  
"The villain who kills another tenant will be free to leave, unless discovered in court."  
  
"Upupupu~!"  
  
"Monokuma can make up rules as he pleases."  
  
Monokuma gave a thumbs up.  
  
"Gotta always have that loophole! I'm smart, upupupu~!"  
  
"That's it, I guess..." I said quietly, "I..."  
  
"I'll leave you guys to pick up your ElectroIDs!" Monokuma chuckled, "Later!"  
  
Monokuma ducked, instantly disappearing from view. Nobody moved, the air hanging thick like smog.  
  
Is this what hell is like...?  
  
"Fellow smashers." Lucina said suddenly, "My suggested course of action is to ignore the bear and accept life here for now. We have to persevere and find a way to escape."  
  
"He gave us a way to escape." Villager said quietly, emotionless, "Murder someone and get away with it."  
  
"No, we can't do that!" Jigglypuff yelled, "We wouldn't do that!"  
  
"I feel it." Lucario said, "The aura. Some of us, if not all of us... I can't say who, but people are considering it."  
  
"Golly, golly, golly!" Pac-Man huffed, "Enough of that nonsense! We've known eachother for years, we can live together in harmony! We're friends!"  
  
"I wouldn't hurt any of you..." Ness sniffled, "I would never..."  
  
Nana took Popo's hand, both of them looking around anxiously.  
  
"I'll leave you guys alone if you leave my brother live..."  
  
"I'm nipping this in the bud right now." Lucina shouted, "We can't do this, we can't turn on eachother like animals! We need to work together and make it out alive, got it? All of us! We need order! We need new rules, rules not set by that megalomaniac teddy!"  
  
"Heh, is there something wrong with being an animal?" Dedede joked.  
  
"...Anyways, I will establish a couple rules, and we can all discuss more at a later date. For now... Don't leave your room after night. We need rest, and we need order. If you start thinking about murder, tell me, and we can arrange group therapy..."  
  
 **DING! DONG!**  
  
"Hey, you guys!" Monokuma chuckled, "It's 10 PM! Nighttime is now in effect. Sweet dreams!"  
  
"I don't wanna..." Luigi whimpered, "No, no, no..."  
  
"Okay, that's cool..." Lucina said, "Grab your ElectroIDs and head to your rooms... We can meet together in the morning for breakfast and talk. We need to keep up social bonds if we're gonna do this right!"  
  
"We can..." Nana whispered, "We can sleep in eachother's rooms, right? I want my big bro..."  
  
Popo reassuringly took her hand.  
  
"Yeah, we can't sleep out here, but we can sleep in any bedroom! Sis, I got ya."  
  
I nervously poked my fingers together as I watched everybody shuffle through the ElectroIDs, trying to find their own. With a sigh, I left, heading towards my room.  
  
Please let it be nice...  
  
I swiped my ID through the card reader, and the door unlocked. Inside was a comfy little bedroom, with a nice bed and a couple drawers. There was a note on the bed.  
  
 _Features of your Super Amazing TomoDespair Life room!_  
  
 _\- A bed!_  
  
 _\- Many drawers!  
  
\- A shower! (Water turns off at night.)  
  
- Locks on all doors!_  
  
 _\- A tool kit and a sewing kit, along with diagrams of the best places on the body to attack!_  
  
 _\- A TV that shows off my beautiful face~! Upupupu!_  
  
 _Enjoy! - Your Landlord, Monokuma_  
  
I quietly put the note aside, then plopped onto my bed. I stared at the ceiling, silently thinking.  
  
Why us?  
  
What did we do to deserve this?  
  
Is that bear serious? Are we honestly gonna stay here forever? I crossed my fingers and hoped that nobody was planning to play the game.  
  
A chill ran over me, so I pulled open the blankets and snuggled in. Still, I shivered.  
  
 _Knock, knock, knock._  
  
Huh? Didn't we agree to stay in our rooms at night?  
  
The door opened, and Samus walked in, unamused.  
  
"Wifi..." She grumbled, "Why didn't you lock your door?"  
  
I blushed, embarrassed.  
  
"I, uh..." I stammered, "I thought it would lock on its own..."  
  
Samus shook her head.  
  
"Don't take chances. Never take chances."  
  
"Why are you even in here...?!"  
  
Samus chuckled, then plopped onto my bed, crossing her arms behind her head. She kicked her feet, watching them move intently.  
  
"You looked nervous." She said, "Thought I would stay the night."  
  
I narrowed my eyes, "I'm not the only nervous one..."  
  
"Nana and Popo are sleeping together, Kirby and Dedede are sharing, Mario and Luigi are sharing, Lucina absolutely whored out her room... What, am I not allowed to be nice to my friend?"  
  
She tried to pat my head reassuringly, but really only barrelled her hand into my face. Samus smiled as she roughly rubbed my face.  
  
"There, there!" She said, "I'm here, and we will get out. Promise."  
  
"S-Sammy..."  
  
"Shush, no words, only comfort."  
  
Didn't she say she was raised by bird aliens...? Oh, it makes so much sense...  
  
I sunk into my bed as Samus let up on her rubbing, quietly falling asleep. She... She fell asleep without even getting under the blankets?!  
  
With a sigh, I dug my head into my pillow, drifting off to sleep.  
  
\---  
  
 **MONOKUMA THEATRE!**  
  
ITEM: HANDHELD GAME CONSOLE  
  
 **Monokuma:** Ah, Danganronpa and Smash Bros... Two of the biggest game franchises colliding together in a bloody mess... If this were real, it'd be in high demand! Good thing it's online for free, ya cheapskate!


	2. 1-2: Repeat Tutorial, Please?

"Upupupu! Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!"  
  
A loud sound echoed through the room, waking me up instantly, sending me rolling off my bed and onto the floor.  
  
"Ow!" I grumbled, "What the hell?!"  
  
I looked up, it was Monokuma with a trumpet, happily bouncing about. Samus sat up in my bed, rubbing her eyes, seemingly unaffected.  
  
"Damn, I was hoping I didn't have to see your sorry face..." Samus sighed, "Stop that, you're gonna wake the others..."  
  
Monokuma cocked his head in confusion.  
  
"Me? Wake the others? No, no, no! I mean, yes, but not now! A: These rooms are soundproof, and B: I'm waking you all up individually! Today is a special day! Your first full day here!"  
  
I crossed my arms and huffed.  
  
"It would more special if we didn't have to see you..."  
  
"Ouch..." Monokuma said, face going red with embarrassment, "That's cold... Lucky you, seeing today, though! Samus could've killed you while you were sleeping..."  
  
"I would never." Samus growled, "WiFi's my friend, and I'm not cowardly enough to kill a sleeping foe."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, and you would _never_ be trapped in an apartment with a teddy bear keeping you captive, huh? Upupupu! I gotta go, you guys! See ya!"  
  
Monokuma ducked down, leaving the room. Samus turned her nose up in disgust, visibly angry.  
  
"Asshole." She muttered, "C'mon, we gotta get breakfast."  
  
"I wouldn't miss breakfast for the world!" I replied, "Ah, it's the most important meal of the day! Oh, I could totally go for some fruit..."  
  
I slowly got up, stretching. Samus looked at me, confused.  
  
"Why were you on the floor?"  
  
"Why were you in my bed?"  
  
"That doesn't make sense, and you know it."  
  
"That doesn't make sense, and you know it."  
  
"WiFi..."  
  
I stuck my tongue out, and Samus chuckled.  
  
"WiFi!" She whined playfully, "You make no sense...! We gotta go...!"  
  
Samus got up with a yawn, and left the room. I followed behind her, making our way to the room with the knife and fork nameplate. We walked in, a cafeteria sprawled out before us. Nobody else was there.  
  
"We're the first ones, huh?" Samus said, "Might as well make something for everybody... I can make cereal, but that's it."  
  
_Spend free time with Samus? Yes._  
  
I nodded, "I can pick up the slack, I know a thing or two..."  
  
We walked to the other side of the cafeteria and entered the kitchen, only to see Kirby there, gorging themself on apples. They sat on the counter, munching on the massive pile of fruits that sat next to them.  
  
Kirby looked at us, mouth flowing over with apples. They blushed sheepishly.  
  
"Poyo..." He said, "Hey, guys! I was hungry, so... Uh, are you guys mad? Do you want me to leave?"  
_  
Spend free time with Kirby? Yes._  
  
"You can stay." I said, smiling gently, "Don't worry, we'll make you something good... Pancakes!"  
  
Kirby started screaming with delight.  
  
"Yes, yes, yes!" They hollered, "Pancakes, pancakes! Feed me! _Feed me!_ "  
  
"Do we even have the ingredients...?" Samus asked.  
  
Suddenly, a note fell from above. I caught it and read it.  
_  
We have infinite food. Don't question it.  
  
\- Monokuma_  
  
...Well, that answers it.  
  
"Wait, let me read that!" Kirby said as they snatched it, eyes wide as they read it, "I-Infinite food?! Oh! I never want to leave!"  
  
Kirby kicked their feet in delight, and Samus watched, smiling.  
  
"We'll have to break out eventually, but I'm glad to see you're enjoying yourself." Samus chuckled.  
  
I clapped my hands together.  
  
"Okay!" I yelled, "Let's make some pancakes!"  
  
We all made pancakes to the best of our ability, mixing eggs and butter and other ingredients in a bowl until we made enough batter. We fried the batter until it was all gone, making a big pile of pancakes, taller than even Samus.  
_  
Kirby, Samus, and I are a little closer now._  
  
"Poyo!!" Kirby hollered, watering at the mouth, "I want it! I want all of it! Gimme gimme gimme gimme-"  
  
Samus held Kirby back as they lunged at the pile, flailing their arms hungrily. Drool ran all over the floor, and Kirby seemed almost animalistic in their urge for food.  
  
"Hey, hey!" Samus yelled, "We need to save some for the others! Come on..."  
  
"That leaves a question, though." I said, "How are we gonna bring this out?"  
  
They both looked at the pile, looking at it in confusion.  
  
"I could eat it." Kirby said simply.  
  
"No!" Samus yelled, "It's for everyone...!"  
  
"Okay, okay, I'm just gonna risk it." I sighed, scratching at the back of my head, "Kirby, can you bring some syrup? Sammy, bring along some strawberries, please."  
  
They both nodded in agreement, and Samus let Kirby go, watching intently as they went into the cupboard, retrieving many bottles of syrup.  
  
"Two of them are mine!" Kirby giggled, "One for the pancakes, one to drink! Haha!"  
  
I grabbed onto the pancake plate nervously, watching Samus shovel strawberries into a bowl. Why did we decide to stack them all up like this?  
  
My arms shook as I picked it all up, legs quivering under the weight of it all. Kirby watched hungrily as the pancake pile swayed from side to side, threatening to fall. At least Kirby would clean up any mess I made...  
  
I slowly tip-toed across the kitchen, stopping at the door. Samus used her free hand to open the door for me and Kirby, holding it for both of us. Kirby waddled behind me as we entered the cafeteria, the sound of murmuring echoing.  
  
"So, everybody's here, huh?" Samus said, "We made food. You're welcome."  
  
My hands shook as I gently put the pile on the table, breathing a sigh of relief when it didn't tip over.  
  
"Wait." Lucina said, "Before we eat, we need to discuss rules..."  
  
"No, no, no!" Kirby yelled, "It's getting cold! Food! I want!"  
  
"My stomach's gonna eat itself..." Popo muttered, "Lucina... Let us eat..."  
  
"Yeah, let us eat!" Nana echoed, "Please?"  
  
Lucina sighed, grabbing her temple.  
  
"Fine, fine, eat. We can discuss this on full tummies."  
  
Kirby cheered as they floated up and grabbed a massive chunk of the pancakes, shovelling them in their mouth. They barely chewed.  
  
"...Anyways." Samus said, "Guess I'll grab the plates..."  
  
Together, we all ate, sharing all the remaining pancakes equally. If you looked a this scene from an outside perspective, you would see a group of friends eating without worry, but we knew better. We knew we were just distracting ourselves from the inevitable fact that we were trapped here. Still, how bad could it be? We have pancakes!  
  
As Pac-Man slowly finished eating the last of the food, I looked around. Everybody was full, perhaps even fuller than full, so full that it almost hurt.  
  
_BURRRRP!_  
  
Everybody turned to look at King Dedede, who covered his beak in shame.  
  
"Ah! Excuse me..."  
  
We all laughed. Any distraction from our captivity is welcome, even something so juvenile.  
  
"Alright, my fellow fighters." Lucina suddenly boomed, standing up, "We will discuss the rules here. Our own equivalent of 'no items, Fox only, Final Destination', if you will. Again, don't go out at night and remember group therapy, but we should also enforce a buddy system. You can't plan murder unless you're alone, and you can't get weapons descretely unless you're alone. You get where I'm going with this? Never be alone. At the end of the day, we'll report who we hung out with and any discrepancies will be investigated, including alone time. Be smart, be cool, and don't let the bear win."  
  
Applause rung out through Lucina's audience, and Lucina blushed sheepishly. Despite being the self-appointed leader of the group, Lucina wasn't very good at accepting the praise associated with it.  
  
"Oh yeah!" Luigi cheered, "Me and my big bro will hang out! No worries!"  
  
"Haha, thanks, my little-a paisano." Mario chuckled, "Let's-a go! I never got to see much of-a the upper floor yesterday! Yahoo!"  
  
Mario grabbed his brother's hand and dashed off happily, grinning all the way.  
  
"Oh, golly..." Pac-Man sighed, "I don't know who to hang out with! You're all such wonderful youngins, and you all make me proud... Hmm..."  
  
The gears turned in my head. Should I...?  
_  
Spend free time with Pac-Man? Yes._  
  
"I can hang out with you!" I blurted, "I would love to hear one of your stories or something!"  
  
Pac-Man grinned widely, eyes twinkling with delight. He hopped out of his chair and sat next to me, holding my hands in his.  
  
"Dear, I'm so happy to hear that! Nobody really wants to hear about my stories anymore... I passed the name down to my kids long ago..."  
  
I was so focused on watching Pac-Man bounce giddily in his chair that I barely heard everybody continue with their arrangements.  
  
"I care, Pac-Man, I really do." I said, "You've seen so much, haven't you? My life is great, sure, but there's not many stories in my daily runs!"  
  
Pac-Man chuckled, his face wrinkling around his cheeks and eyes, showing off his age.  
  
"Oh, don't be so sure, dear." He replied with a wink, "Even the most mundane of things can kickstart something wonderful! One of my adventures starts off with me getting some milk for Pac-Baby..."  
  
I sat there, listening intently as Pac-Man told the story of how he ran various mundane tasks in the most outlandish ways, accidentally covering a farmer in hay for milk, going hang-gliding for a flower, and beating up ghosts to get his son's guitar back, all culminating in destroying a gum monster and saving the day. Pac-Man was outrageously happy the entire time, even when talking about his greatest blunders during the quest.  
  
_Pac-Man and I are a little closer now._  
  
"Pac-Man?"  
  
"Yes, dear?"  
  
I scratched at my chin in confusion, "Why was it called Pac-City?"  
  
"Well, uh..." Pac-Man looked to the side in thought, "Oh, golly, why did they name it that...? You would know better than I, dear."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Oh, tutorial time!" Pac-Man giggled, "Every story needs a tutorial, and I'm here to give you a quick rundown of the Deep Breathing system."  
  
"Deep Breathing? That's gonna help me know why you lived in a place called Pac-City of all things?"  
  
"Here's the gist." He continued, "If something's in bold, then you can use Deep Breathing to think about it. Try it now! Why was it named **Pac-City?** "  
  
Bold? How come it felt like his spoken words came out in a written text? Ah, does it matter?  
  
Pac-City... I took a deep breath through my nose, exhaling out of my mouth, focusing all my thoughts.  
  
Yeah... Now I get it... Pac-City was named that way because...  
  
**A:** Pac-Man founded the city.  
  
**B:** Pac-Man is the hero of the city.  
  
**C:** Pac-Man bribed the mayor.  
  
Hmm... B! Gotcha!  
  
"They changed the name of the city because of you!" I said, "You saved it so many times that they decided to name it after you!"  
  
"Haha, bingo!" Pac-Man giggled, clapping, "I totally blanked on that... Ah, golly, you mastered Deep Breathing pretty quick! Have fun discovering all there is to do with your new ability! Adventure awaits, dearie! You'll have to have your wits about you to escape! I believe in you!"  
  
Suddenly, Pac-Man yawned, stretching his arms out wide. He smacked his lips, looking forward sleepily.  
  
"Oh boy..." He muttered, "I'm getting old... Just talking about adventures tires me nowadays... Ah, could you be a dear and help me back to my room? I know Lucina said to stick in pairs, but I can alibi for you and you can alibi for me tonight... I would appreciate you finding someone to hang out with afterwards, though! If anything happens, we both got dirt on eachother, so we should be okay! I'm just so tired..."  
  
"I got your back." I said as I held my hand out, helping him out of his chair, "Respect your elders and all that..."  
  
"Hey, hey! I'm... Well... Okay, maybe I'm _that_ old, but... Ah, one of the best ways to respect your elders is to never say that phrase in reference to your elders! I'm not elderly, I'm... I'm close, but..."  
  
Pac-Man laughed, clutching at his stomach.  
  
"What am I kidding? Golly, I really am that old! Oh, dear, I would tell you to never grow old, but the alternative would to be dead! Ah, wait, that's not good to say here... Oh my... I'll just take a quick old man nap before I say anything stupid, let's go!"  
  
We walked to Pac-Man's room hand-in-hand, and he smiled gently as he took his keycard out of his boot and opened up the door, beaming as he closed the door behind him. What a delight he is!  
  
...Wait, now I'm alone. Better find someone to hang out with!  
  
Just my luck, Ness, Nana, and Popo were walking towards the cafeteria. Ness stuck his arm out to stop the other two when he saw me, beaming with delight. The trio of kids ran towards me giddily.  
  
"Miss WiFi!" Ness said, clapping his hands together, "We were looking for you! Well... I was looking for you, but I needed company... Oh, what are you doing alone?"  
  
"Oh, Pac-Man just went in his room."  
  
"Miss Lucina said not to be alone under any circumstances, though..."  
  
The three kids all looked up at me, confused and mildly disappointed. I shook my head.  
  
"Alright, alright, I'm sorry..." I said, "I shouldn't have been alone, I won't let it happen again."  
  
Ness nodded happily, smiling.  
  
"Okay!" He cheered, "I'm so glad we found you! Nana, Popo? You can go now!"  
  
"Yeah!" Popo yelled, "We're gonna do some arts and crafts!"  
  
"Arts and crafts!" Nana echoed, "Let's go, let's go!"  
  
They both ran off, whooping and hollering happily. I looked back over to Ness, who clapped his hands.  
  
"Miss WiFi!" Ness said, "I wanted to ask you two things! One: Can you help me get something upstairs? Two: Do you want to get a tour of upstairs?"  
  
"What if I said no?" I asked, "I mean, I can't not hang out with you, that's against the rules of being alone..."  
  
"O-Oh, right! Sorry, I just didn't want to bother Nana and Popo anymore and-"  
_  
Spend free time with Ness?_ Yes.  
  
I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.  
  
"It's fine, it's fine, I'm only kidding. I would love to hang out with you!" I chuckled, "You need help too? What is it?"  
  
"Well, I wanna put that off until I'm done the tour! You were out cold yesterday, Miss WiFi... It's only fair!"  
  
Ness eagerly led me upstairs throughout the various rooms. Surprisingly, TomoDespair Life was pretty damn comfy, with a living room, a small reading room, a rec center with video games and a cabinet filled with various oddities, a modest exercise room I just knew I was gonna use later, bathrooms (which I eagerly used the moment I realized I hadn't relieved myself since yesterday), and a little hobby shop. We saw some of our friends on our tour, and happily greeted them.  
  
"Hello!" Ness shouted to Villager.  
  
"Fuck off!" Villager shouted back.  
  
"Okay..."  
  
With a smile plastered on his face the entire time, Ness explained what he thought of each room: boring, except for the rec center and the hobby shop.  
  
_Ness and I are a little closer now._  
  
After all our travels, we stopped at the little hobby shop. Did it even count as a shop? Nothing was stopping us from just taking everything and running off... There wasn't even any staff... It was cluttered beyond all belief.  
  
"Up there!" Ness said as he pointed up towards what looked like a weird gumball machine, "Miss WiFi, that's the favour I want! Can you please get me that gacha machine?"  
  
"Gacha?"  
  
"It's like... You know when you go to the store and there's, like, a machine that spits out little ugly plastic toys that I still somehow love? That! Can you give me it? Please? I'm too short..."  
  
I nodded, then grabbed the gacha machine, gently placing it down on the shop counter. Ness looked wide-eyed at it, only to suddenly frown.  
  
"Wait, do you have any money?"  
  
"Well, uh..." I looked down at my pocketless yoga pants, "Nope..."  
  
"...Aw..."  
  
I looked over at the cash register, gears turning in my head.  
  
"You think Monokuma will mind if we take that?"  
  
Suddenly, Monokuma popped up from behind the counter, flailing his arms wildly.  
  
"Upupupu!" He cackled, "Stealing is wrong! Very wrong! It starts with mere quarters, then full on fifties, then robbing banks! Fraud, murder, genocide... Before you know it, Satan himself will be your bottom bitch!"  
  
Ness and I slowly looked at each other, then the bear, then back at each other. A thick and awkward silence hung over the three of us.  
  
"...So, uh..." Monokuma mumbled, "I encourage it. Kill each other, kids, please... I need entertainment... Thanks, bye..."  
  
He slowly ducked back behind the counter, averting his gaze. When he was gone, Ness cleared his throat awkwardly.  
  
"Well, I guess we can have a go..." Ness said, "Can you get the money for me? I don't... I don't feel right about it..."  
  
I nodded, then grabbed a fistful of quarters from the cash register. Ness smiled as I dropped all the money on the counter, letting him get some coins. He put one in the machine, happily watching a plastic ball come out of the slot. Ness eagerly opened it, eyes widening when he saw a little plastic apple inside.  
  
"Oh, an apple?" He said, "You think Kirby or Villager would like it more? Kirby likes food in general, but I know Villager likes apples in particular..."  
  
"Hmm? You're giving it away?"  
  
"Of course! What's the fun if you're not gonna spread it around?"  
  
Ness's smile was infectious, and I felt my heart tingle with how pure this boy was. I eagerly put a coin in the machine, opened up the plastic ball, and plucked out a tiny white dog figurine.  
  
"Doggie!" Ness instantly gasped, "He looks just like King! Just like him! Aw, that's so cute..."  
  
"You want it?"  
  
"Oh, do I! Thanks, Miss WiFi!"  
  
Ness held out his hand, barely containing his excitement as I put the tiny dog in his hand. He bounced around, grinning widely.  
  
"I have a dog who looks just like this!" Ness said, "King! I can read his mind, and he's a cowardly doggie... He still tries his hardest, though, and he's a tough puppy! Thanks again, Miss WiFi, I'll try and get you a really good present in return!"  
  
"You don't need to give me anything in return." I replied sincerely, "Just seeing you happy is enough."  
  
"Oh-ho, Miss WiFi... I'm not fooled! I'll get you something great, promise!"  
  
**DING! DONG!**  
  
"Hey, you guys!" Monokuma chuckled over the intercom, "It's 10 PM! Nighttime is now in effect, and the cafeteria will be closed. Sweet dreams!"  
  
"Aw, time goes by so fast..." Ness pouted, "I don't wanna go to bed... Miss Lucina said so, though, so I guess we'll have to..."  
  
We both sulked downstairs, only for there to be a massive crowd standing near the rooms. In the center of it all, Lucina sat in a chair, proud of herself.  
  
"This is fucking insane!" Villager huffed, "You really expect to stay awake all night!?"  
  
"Wait, wait..." I butted in, "She's staying awake all night?"  
  
"That I am." Lucina said simply, "I'm going to enforce the curfew... I'll sleep in the day, write up the reports when I wake up, keep watch, then do our morning breakfast... Rinse and repeat. Don't say I can't do it either, I'm fully prepared to make sacrifices for the good of the group."  
  
She pulled out a notepad.  
  
"I stalked around and took notes on what was going on today. Everything seemed fine with what you guys have been telling me throughout the day..."  
  
"Wait." King Dedede interrupted, "Ya mean to say... Lucina, you've been walking alone?"  
  
"Yes, yes, I know it's against my own rule..." Lucina sighed, hanging her head guiltily, "But I have my reasons. I know it's a bit hypocritical, but... I wanted to make sure you guys actually bothered with the rule first. What's the point of having a rule if nobody bothers following it? Anyways, I'll stay out here all night."  
  
"What if you fall asleep!?" Jigglypuff shouted, "Lucina, Monokuma will destroy you...!"  
  
"He won't. I made sure."  
  
"...What?!"  
  
"Ugh, don't lie, Lucina..." Samus sighed, "We know you're just trying to make us feel better about your own self-righteous idiocy..."  
  
"Me, lie? No, no, no! Check the ElectroIDs!"  
  
Mario was the first one to whip his out, cocking his head as he looked over the rules.  
  
"Son of a gun..." He said, "The rule is-a completely gone! Lucina, how?"  
  
Monokuma hopped up from behind Lucina's chair, landing on her head. Lucina visibly froze with fear.  
  
"Upupupu!" Monokuma giggled, "Your little friend here is a very good bargainer! Ah, told me all about how stupid it is, and where I should shove it, and about how easy it would be to murder a sleeping outsider..."  
  
"Don't get any ideas." Lucina huffed, "I'm just playing to the bear's interests."  
  
"What can I say? I'm simple-minded... Hey, wait! Aren't you guys supposed to be sleeping? Ya know? That rule you set up?"  
  
"We're having a _moment._ " Little Mac seethed, "It'd be nice if you could, I dunno... Fuck off?"  
  
"...Jeez, I see I'm not wanted here..." Monokuma said sadly, "Well, see ya!"  
  
He ducked back behind Lucina's chair, somehow popping away from the very room we're in. All eyes were on Lucina.  
  
"You bargained with our lives?!" Little Mac shouted, "You used murder as a bargaining chip?"  
  
"Trust me, Mac." Lucina replied, "This will work out, promise."  
  
"Trust you?! You've been talking with the bear and... Who knows what you guys were talking about? You've broke your own rules, you've talked with the enemy... Hell, you might not even be Lucina anymore! For all we know, he could've replaced you somehow or, like, infected your mind with ideas of murder!"  
  
Lucina bit her lip, her brave facade cracking for a second.  
  
"Okay, fine, you don't have to trust me." Lucina said, "But, no matter what, I'll be out here, awake and watching, protecting everybody. If someone thinks I'm a threat and tries to kill me... So be it, but I'll fight back, and I'll protect everyone else here until my final dying breath, got it? You think I like this? You think I like having to make deals with foes? I don't, not at all, but you have to do that shit to survive, it's Basic War Tactics 101... Not even a day, and we're already turning on each other..."  
  
"Lucina..." Luigi said shakily, "Guys... A-Ah, maybe we should all sleep on this? We're all tired and cranky..."  
  
Murmurs of agreement rumbled through the group as we all went to our rooms. I watched with the slightest tinge of disappointment as Samus went into her own room with a yawn.  
  
I opened my door, went in, and absolutely made sure to lock it this time.  
  
...Why am I locking it? Do I really think my friends would do such a horrible thing?  
  
I eyed my door as I slipped into my bed. No, no... I'm just afraid of Samus accidentally scaring me again...  
  
_Yeah, that's it._  
  
\---  
  
**MONOKUMA THEATRE!**  
  
ITEM: QUESTION MARK BLOCK  
  
**Monokuma:**  Tutorials are such a catch-22, you know? You don't include them, you're too hard. Include them, you're dumbing down the masses. Make it optional? Whoops, someone skipped over it all and knows fuck all. Make it mandatory? Well, guess that person who completed the game a million times is fucked, then! My solution? Just get rid of video games all together! Ain't that great? Upupupu~!


	3. 1-3: Sparring Hurts, Starry Hearts!

**Ding! Dong!**  
  
"Upupupu! It's 7 am! Good morning! Let's make this day the best it can be!"  
  
The best it can be? Hard to do that when you're trapped in an apartment, forced to be in some fucked up death game... Trust me when I say the best thing that could happen today is that we leave, but I doubt that's happening.  
  
I sat up in my bed, rubbing my eyes. I don't wanna... Ugh...  
  
We need to all stick together, Lucina told us to. Though, is anyone gonna listen to her?  
  
I stepped outside, and Lucina stared at me from her chair with droopy, tired, red eyes. She visibly held in a yawn, trying to keep her guard up. Her fists were clenched.  
  
"Hey, Lucina..." I said quietly, "You okay?"  
  
"What are you doing... out..." She mumbled, "It's night..."  
  
"Uh, it's not."  
  
"It's not?"  
  
"Nope, it's 7 am."  
  
As all the other Smashers slowly made their way out of their own rooms, minding their own business, Lucina blushed, embarrassed.  
  
"My mistake." Lucina muttered, "The first day utilizing a new tactic is always the hardest, WiFi, it always is."  
  
"I get it, starting a new yoga routine is tough..."  
  
Stupid, stupid, _stupid!_ Lucina fights in wars, this shouldn't be compared ever...  
  
Despite that, we took in the silence together.  
  
"I should sleep." Lucina said, "I pulled a full 24/7, strong warriors need sleep. Good day, WiFi."  
  
"Good day!" I replied as she shuffled into her room.  
  
I waited for the sound of the door locking, but it never came. Was that accidental, or does she trust us, and her talents, that much?  
  
Whatever, time for breakfast!  
  
"Poyo~!"  
  
Everything went black as Kirby hopped onto my head, covering my eyes with their little arms. I chuckled, jokingly trying to pry them off.  
  
"Oh no!" I said, holding in a chuckle, "Who turned off the sun?"  
  
"It was I!" Kirby boomed, "Kirby! WiFi, make pancakes with me, or you will never see the sun again!"  
  
_Spend free time with Kirby? Yes.  
  
_ "Heh, I guess I gotta." I snickered as Kirby removed their arms, "Oh! The sun is back! Thank you, Kirby, for sparing me!"  
  
"You're welcome! Samus is there already, we gotta get going!"  
  
We walked off to the kitchen together, where Samus was already making pancakes, picking out the ingredients we needed.  
  
"Blueberries or chocolate chips?" She asked.  
  
"Both!" Kirby yelled, drooling, "Both, both, both!"  
  
We both quietly agreed, making three separate batches of pancakes. One batch was blueberry, one was chocolate chip, and one was both.  
  
"...What if someone doesn't like chocolate chip or blueberry?" I asked.  
  
"...Dammit!" Samus muttered, "Kirby, pass the eggs."  
  
"You got it!"  
  
We made another batch, trying to quickly make it before the other piles of pancakes went cold. When we were done, there was more pancakes than anyone besides Kirby would know what to do with.  
  
"Ah, you guys know me so well..." They sighed blissfully, "So many spares~!"  
  
_Kirby, Samus, and I are a little closer now._  
  
Again, everybody ate together, quieter this time. No, it wasn't as joyful as yesterday. Have we already lost it?  
  
I don't want this.  
  
"I, uh..." I muttered awkwardly to break the silence, "I appreciate and love you guys, you know? We can't give up, especially not on the third day... I... I don't know, I just wanted you guys to know that I care, I really do."  
  
Pac-Man clapped, smiling widely. It didn't bring me much pride, considering he's proud of everything.  
  
"Golly! Good speech, WiFi!" He chuckled, "Bravo!"  
  
"I thought it was a load of shit..." Little Mac grumbled, "This isn't daycamp, this is life or death."  
  
"And I thought I was cranky." Villager scoffed, "Listen, Mac, we have to at least try."  
  
"We tried, and how did that turn out? Lucina started negotiating with the enemy!"  
  
"You saw her this morning, Mac." Samus said, "She worked herself absolutely exhausted for you, alright? She didn't stay up all night for you to be a brat about it. I have my doubts too, but I'm not annoyingly forceful, or even just annoying, about it."  
  
"...Wow, roast him." Popo said quietly.  
  
"Snatch his wig, Samus!" Nana yelled, "Yeah!"  
  
"He doesn't have a wig..."  
  
"Bro... Bro, that's a figure of speech..."  
  
"O-Oh..."  
  
Little Mac kept quiet, arms crossed, looking down at his breakfast.  
  
"Y'know what?" He spat, "Fuck this. Fuck having you guys throw me to the dogs because I want to live."  
  
He stomped off, leaving the room in an awkward, stifling, silence.  
  
"Mac's aura looks sad." Lucario said quietly, "I think he's really hurt..."  
  
She looked around, biting her lip.  
  
"Actually, all our auras... We should wake Lucina up and get that therapy she recommended."  
  
"You kidding?" Villager huffed, "Mac would kill her!"  
  
"No, no, very badly harm." Jigglypuff said, "Uh, unless he actually wants to leave..."  
  
"Ahahaha, I d-don't like this..." Luigi whimpered, "I don't, I don't, I don't..."  
  
Mario gently patted Luigi's back as he sulked down into his seat.  
  
"Someone needs to talk some sense into him." Mario said, "Any volunteers?"  
  
Nobody said anything, just waiting for someone else to volunteer. I sighed.  
  
"I'll do it." I said, "I can't watch this go on any longer..."  
  
"Heh, seems like someone has protagonist syndrome." Villager snickered.  
  
"Can it."  
  
"Calm down, hero..."  
  
" _Can it!_ We need to get our shit together, and I'll be the one to take that step! Later! Goodbye! See you! Sayonara!"  
  
As I stomped off, I heard Ness whisper behind me.  
  
"Why did she say goodbye so many times?"  
  
"Because I'm mad! Aloha! That means hello _and_ goodbye!"  
  
It didn't take long to find Little Mac, as your first guess was usually where he was. Of course, he was in the exercise room, taking out his frustrations on a sandbag.  
  
"What are you doing here?" He said without looking, "Here to kill me? Heh, good luck, I've battled worse than some anorexic bounty hunter."  
  
"Anorexic bounty hunter?" I repeated, "Mac, what are you saying?"  
  
Little Mac turned around to look at me, red with embarrassment. He furrowed his brow.  
  
"I thought you were Samus."  
  
"Are you serious? You think Samus of all people would kill you? That's crazy."  
  
"What's crazier is being held hostage by a teddy bear. Shit happens, okay?"  
  
"Also, Samus isn't anorexic."  
  
"Have you seen her?"  
  
"Yes, I've seen her and her muscles." I scoffed, "Would she have muscles if she was anorexic?"  
  
"Well, uh..." Mac sputtered, "That doesn't matter! Spar with me!"  
  
"...What?"  
  
"I said, spar with me! What, are you too chickenshit to do it?!"  
  
"Did you seriously just say chickenshit with no hint of irony?"  
  
"C'mon!" He growled, "Spar with me!"  
  
_Spend free time with Little Mac? Yes._  
  
Maybe he'll calm down if he gets a fair fight. Hope I don't get hurt too badly.  
  
"Sure." I sighed, putting my fists up, "Take it easy, okay?"  
  
"No promises!"  
  
So, me and Little Mac duked it out. Despite his small stature, all his hits hurt, and everytime he got me, all I could think was 'Oh my god, this is gonna hurt in the morning'. But, that didn't matter for now. All that mattered was trying to keep damage down to a minimum.  
  
Dodge left, dodge right... Ow!  
  
Whenever I thought I had a pattern to my dodging, he hit me.  
  
Left hook, right jab... How does he keep avoiding it?  
  
Little Mac is such a small target, how am I surprised?  
  
Ow, ow, ow, ow!  
  
I'm gonna need a heart container after this... and a hot cup of tea... maybe a bubble bath. Definitely a heal, though.  
  
"Is that all you got?" Mac yelled, "Come on, come on!"  
  
There was a fire in his eyes, that fire you get when you're so into the adrenaline-fuelled present, the now, that you forget about the world around you.  
  
Whelp, I had a good life.  
  
Uh, how do I get him to stop?  
  
...Play dead.  
  
Little Mac hit me, and I fell dramatically to the ground. I refused to get up, acting like I just up and died.  
  
"WiFi?"  
  
No, no, no, let him calm down.  
  
"W-WiFi?!" He muttered, "Oh no, oh no, everybody will suspect me if this gets out..."  
  
"Wait, what?"  
  
Little Mac hopped back in surprise as I staggered to my feet, feeling up the bruise on my cheek. He hit his gloves together sheepishly.  
  
"Good fight." He said, "Thanks."  
  
"You sure do love fighting, huh?"  
  
"Of course, after all, it's my **job.** "  
  
His job... I took a deep breath through my nose, exhaling out of my mouth, focusing all my thoughts.  
  
Yeah... Now I get it... Little Mac works as a...  
  
**A:** Boxer  
  
**B:** Baker  
  
**C:** Ballerina  
  
Hmm... C! Gotcha!  
  
"Ballerina!" I blurted out confidently, only to regret it once it came out of my mouth, "Wait, no-"  
  
"...Ballerina?" Little Mac repeated, amazed, "What kinda ballets are you watching?"  
  
"S-Swan Lake...?"  
  
He cocked his head, trying to understand where exactly I was coming from, and to avail. He bit his lip.  
  
"Okay, okay, whatever." He said, "I'll see you around."  
  
Little Mac went back to hitting the sandbag, and I took that as my cue to leave.  
  
_I... I think me and Little Mac bonded...? Probably? Hopefully._  
  
Well, what now?  
  
First, I took a deep breath, in through my nose and out through my mouth. I felt some of my pain dissipate. Then, I stretched, holding my leg behind my back. Think, WiFi, think!  
  
Just go to the rec room, there's bound to be people there.  
  
So, I did, and I found King Dedede and Link there, playing video games.  
  
"Ya killed me!" Dedede yelled, "Link, we're supposed to be working together!"  
  
Link rose an eyebrow, then kept playing.  
  
"Stop stealing them there power ups! Hey, hey, don't jump on my head! Link? Link! I'm out of lives?!"  
  
Dedede threw his controller to the ground.  
  
"Doggone!"  
  
He looked over, noticing me.  
  
"Hey, WiFi, can you give this here Link some nagging?" He said, "He keeps killing me! He's no fun!"  
  
Link stuck his tongue out playfully, and Dedede fumed.  
  
"Augh, join us." Dedede grumbled, "Keep the boy in line, please."  
  
_Spend free time with Link and King Dedede? Yes._  
  
"Oh, of course!" I said, "What are you guys playing?"  
  
"Mario, the Wii one." Dedede said, "Guy has fun games... Come on, grab a Wiimote."  
  
So, I did, plopping down between the two boys. Everytime Link threw Dedede down a hole, I was there to throw him down in response. Eventually, Link started to cooperate, and his fratricide were only just accidents at that point.  
  
"Hey, WiFi." Dedede said, "Guess what my favourite console is."  
  
"In general, or...?"  
  
"Nintendo, duh."  
  
"Virtual Boy?"  
  
"Please tell me you're kidding."  
  
"I am! Uh... DS?"  
  
"Aha! And it only took you two guesses!"  
  
"One guess."  
  
"What if my favourite was actually the Virtual Boy? Ya can't just pass off a bad guess as a joke."  
  
"Oh my god..."  
  
"Link agrees! Right, Link?"  
  
Link shook his head.  
  
"What?! C'mon, can't you give me a single break today?! A single one?!"  
  
As King Dedede chewed out Link, I slowly ate some chips one of them left on the coffee table. Salty, like Dedede himself.  
  
_King Dedede, Link, and I are a little closer now._  
  
"Ah, doggone it, I don't care." Dedede finally huffed, crossing his flippers, "I need a bath, anyways. See y'all later."  
  
He walked on, noticeably slouching as he slammed the door behind him. Link and I sat in silence until he came to conclusion that I, in fact, was as boring as boring gets, and thus left too, leaving me alone.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I get it." I called out to nobody in particular, "I'm forgettable! I have no feelings! I'm just here to solve your little problem of the day for, like, an hour, then you up and abandon me! Thanks! Thank you! I love being chopped liver! ...I'm interesting!"  
  
As I said that, Nana and Popo entered the recreation room. They both looked me over.  
  
"WiFi, you okay?" Popo said, "You're a little red in the face."  
  
"You're a little red in the face." Nana echoed, "...Well, a lot red. You okay?"  
  
"Sis, I just said that."  
  
"Well, it's hard to talk when you say everything that needs to be said... I wanna be included, too..."  
  
"Yeah, but you don't _need_ to say something now."  
  
"Popo, I want to, okay? Lay off."  
  
Popo sighed, opened his arms, and Nana went in for a little hug, grinning widely. When they were done, they opened up one of the drawers.  
  
"Hey, what are you looking for?" I asked, "We can play Mario..."  
  
I trailed off as the pair pulled out art supplies, glue, glitter, scissors, paper...  
  
"We don't want people hurting eachother." Nana said, "So, we're gonna make everybody cards!"  
  
My chest tightened a little.  
  
"If everybody is happy, then it's okay that we're stuck here." Popo added, "Also, thanks for stealing what I was gonna say, Nana."  
  
"Not so good now, is it!?"  
  
"Sis..."  
  
"Anyways." Nana continued, "Wanna join in? More cards means more happiness!"  
  
_Spend free time with Nana and Popo? YES YES YES YES I REFUSE TO LEAVE THESE KIDS ALONE_  
  
"Yes!" I yelled out, "I mean, I mean... Yeah. That would be nice."  
  
So, we all made cards together. Despite my best efforts, Nana and Popo always consistently had theirs done first, and better too. Where I fumbled with scissors, they cut through the paper gracefully. Where I struggled with glue, they did it perfectly and on the first try. I was the one who dropped the glitter, not them, and I feel bad for whoever has to clean it up, because it will not be us. I held one of my cards, looking it over. It was a red heart, how predictable.  
  
_Nana, Popo, and I are a little closer now._  
  
"Who's that one for?" Popo asked, somehow perfectly cutting his card despite not looking, "Wait, wait, is it for Samus?"  
  
"Is it for your girlfriend?" Nana said in a sing-song tone, "WiFi and Samus sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!"  
  
My face turned about as red as my card.  
  
"What?!" I stammered, "N-No! ...Why would you think that?"  
  
"We saw you looking at her during the Christmas party." Popo replied, "It was... It was an experience."  
  
I flashed back to the Christmas party at Captain Falcon's house. It was tame at first, then someone, probably Bowser in hindsight, brought something strong in...  
  
"Jigglypuff told me that Charizard said that she thought you were drunk." Nana pondered, "Is that why your face was so red?"  
  
"Charizard said what!?"  
  
"She said she thought you were drunk."  
  
"What else did she say?!"  
  
"Jigglypuff didn't tell us anything else." Popo added, "So, were you?"  
  
"...My life is fitness."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I would be going against all my principles-"  
  
"Oh no." Nana muttered, "She's started..."  
  
"My life would be a complete sham-"  
  
"Why us?" Popo added.  
  
"Furthermore, I-"  
  
I rambled on and on, talking about the importance of keeping your system clear of drugs and alcohol, and how important it is to exercise frequently, and brushing your teeth, and bathing often, and-  
  
"Done!"  
  
My little bubble of health was burst by Popo shouting as he held up his card.  
  
"Done what?"  
  
"Done all of the cards!" Popo chuckled, "Thanks, WiFi!"  
  
"Yeah, thanks!" Nana echoed.  
  
"Wait, wait..." I said as they picked up their cards and walked off, "What about the importance of health? What about it? You two are still growing kids, please just... Oh, oh, they're gone. They're gone. Thanks! Is today abandon WiFi day? Thank you! I love you guys, but..."  
  
Wait, what was I saying before that?  
  
I took a deep breath through my nose, exhaling out of my mouth, focusing all my thoughts.  
  
Oh, wait, there's nothing to focus on because nobody else is saying anything. How wonderful.  
  
My mind snapped back.  
  
_"Jigglypuff told me that Charizard said that she thought you were drunk."_  
  
Right, that. I'm gonna have to ask her about that.  
  
If I were a little pink puffball made of anger issues and air, where would I be?  
  
After much searching, apparently the answer to that question was 'In the laundry room, sitting on the washer'.  
  
_Spend free time with Jigglypuff? Yes._  
  
"Hey, WiFi." She yawned, "What's up?"  
  
"I would ask you the same thing." I replied, "Been looking all over for you."  
  
"Washing things. You know, clothes and all that."  
  
I hopped up on the dryer, noticing that it was warm.  
  
"Washing and drying?" I chuckled, "You've been busy."  
  
"It's therapeutic, honestly. So, uh, what did you want?"  
  
"Okay, so I heard this gossip, and-"  
  
"Oh no, not this again!"  
  
"No, no, hear me out. Nana said you told her that Charizard said that she thought that I was drunk at the Christmas party."  
  
"Arceus, that was such a convoluted sentence!"  
  
"Okay, okay, so." I said, "Did Charizard say anything else? Like, about me? At the Christmas party?"  
  
"Why does it matter?!"  
  
"It doesn't! That's why it's fun!"  
  
"I don't think you get it, I know all the details, but I don't get involved in drama. I'm a snooping hoe, but I'm not a drama hoe."  
  
"Jigglypuff, tell me, is Charizard here? Is she in this apartment complex with us?"  
  
"...You've got a point." Jigglypuff sighed, "I think she hates you-"  
  
"I knew it!"  
  
All those death glares, all those social snubs, it all meant something-  
  
"Listen up, you motherfucker." Jigglypuff growled, "If you're gonna force info out of me, can ya at least do it with a shut fucking mouth? Thanks."  
  
"Okay... Sorry!"  
  
Jigglypuff talked on and on about what an honest bitch Charizard can be sometimes. Sure, all of the gossip on me made my self esteem drop... well, drop a lot, but it was so totally worth it!  
  
_Jigglypuff and I bonded a little._  
  
"In retrospect, it all started when you beat her in that tournament." Jigglypuff mused, "You know, one of the first ones you participated in?"  
  
"It was a fluke, honestly." I replied, "I was just really feeling it, and she... I think she didn't get much sleep, you know?"  
  
"You sure it wasn't just Charizard being salty that convinced you?"  
  
"Well, I mean... Actually, no, I can't understand her."  
  
Jigglypuff nodded.  
  
"Right, right, forgot she doesn't wear a translator."  
  
"Why is that, anyways?"  
  
"Something about not wanting to give up her culture? I don't exactly get it, but at the same time, I do. It sort of takes away all the coolness of the Pokémon language, you know?"  
  
**DING! DONG!**  
  
"Hey, you guys!" Monokuma chuckled over the intercom, "It's 10 PM! Nighttime is now in effect, and the cafeteria will be closed. Sweet dreams!"  
  
"That's my cue to go." I said as I slid off the dryer, "See you around. Goodnight!"  
  
"Goodnight!"  
  
I walked back to my room, stopping just short of the door. I looked over to see Lucina setting up her chair, getting ready for another night of watching, waiting, protecting.  
  
Should I...?  
  
There were bags under her eyes, and she looked so tired... so sad...  
_  
Spend free time with Lucina? Yes._  
  
I went into my room, pulled out a chair, and plopped it right down next to Lucina's. She looked at me, confused.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"You need company." I said simply, "You'll just have to settle with me."  
  
Lucina smiled gently, cheeks going pink.  
  
"I don't need it." She replied, "But I would love it. Thank you."  
  
We both watched Samus walk to her door, only to stop. She looked at us.  
  
"Can I join?"  
  
"Be my guest." Lucina said, "Three's a crowd, but considering our situation... Three seems about enough."  
  
Samus nodded, went in her room, then came out, carrying her chair above her head effortlessly. She sat on the other side of me, Lucina to my left, Samus to my right.  
  
We sat there in warm silence, enjoying eachother's company as we watched everybody slowly but surely return to their rooms for the night. Occasionally, someone stopped to make small talk. Mario thanked us again for the pancakes, Pac-Man asked if it was cold out in the hallway and if we needed a blanket, and Villager asked if we could make her favourite tomorrow, apple cinnamon pancakes, with such a sincerity that I have never seen out of her before. Little Mac gave us a slight stinkeye, but quickly scurried back into his room. Dedede asked if I would be up for another gaming session soon, Ness gave us each a tiny toy from the hobby shop, and Luigi looked at us with shaky eyes.  
  
I don't know who started it, it might've been me, but slowly we all started to hold hands. Both of their hands were heavily calloused, as expected, but it was a soothing roughness. I quietly wondered how my hands felt to them, constantly exercising, keeping up my perfect health. Sure, I don't fight wars or save planets, but I'd expect them to be rough...  
  
A yawn escaped my mouth, sleepy tears forming in my eyes.  
  
Slowly, but surely, I drifted off, head rested on Lucina's shoulder, holding both of their hands.  
  
_Samus, Lucina, and I bonded.  
  
_ \---  
  
**MONOKUMA THEATRE!**  
  
ITEM: BOTTLE OF PILLS  
  
**Monokuma:**  Mental illness sucks, am I right? Especially when they work against eachother! Case in point: anxiety and depression! Man, I just love being stuck in bed all day, missing out on the bloodbath right outside my door, but I also love how my brain screams at me for being lazy! Just fucking lobotomize me, already! I'd be more productive braindead! Upupupu~!  



End file.
